I Blog, Therefore I am

OK girls, those of you hoping to read about the latest addition to my purse collection will be sorely disappointed today. For today, I have every possible intention of writing some "serious" stuff. Hope you’ll excuse me. I did warn you, dear readers, in a previous post, that - in spite of appearances - I am actually not a superficial and materialistic kind of gal.

So moving on. Lately, I’ve been listening to a lot of very “inspirational” CDs. I don’t mean music CDs, but inspiration lectures about personal growth, about becoming all that you can be, etc. Now this may sound very sappy indeed. However, I find that it’s starting to have an effect on me. It’s starting to change my life. How?

I’m starting to have different conversations with people. At parties, I find myself asking my friends what they want out of their lives. What their dreams are. What they would like to change about their lives. I’m starting to ask colleagues if they are happy with the work they do. I find that my subconscious is starting to move at a different realm.

I’m no longer thinking: what shall I wear today? Or what shall I buy today? Instead, I’m thinking: whom shall I inspire today? But this is also a scary thing. Prodding into people’s insides reveals fears. I know because I too feel them. I have met people lately that have truly amazed me. People who really LIVE with a capital L. People who are not afraid. People who use their full potential – or at least try to.

When confronted with such people, I feel that the tree of my personal growth is but a stump. I used to read and think about things like this all the time. But somewhere along the way, I just stopped. I guess I thought that I had “come far enough already” and did not need to learn about personal growth anymore. Or was it perhaps because I felt that I was moving to a level that was beyond the level of the people I associate with? Was I afraid of leaving them behind?

They say that when the pupil is ready, the teacher shall appear. I feel that I have met several teachers lately. They have given me a vision of what my life could be. But that is a scary thing. It means that I must admit to myself that, up until now, I have not lived my life to the fullest and it is shameful to admit that to oneself. Meeting people like this also raises other fears. One starts to think about what kind of people one wants to associate with – and also what kind of peole one would wish not to associate with. Do I want to spend time with people who complain all the time? With people who are negative, or who do not believe in my potential? Or in their own potential? Who do not believe that I/they/we can succeed in whatever it is I/they/we want out of life?

I tend to have a lot of “extra-curricular” activities, both at work and outside work. At work, I tend to be the person that people always want to be part of every committee when we are putting together team events etc. I don’t volunteer for these things, I get asked to join. And I’m happy to do that. Why is it that some people don’t get asked? What kind of person are you in this regard? Are you happy with who you are in this regard, or would you perhaps like to be different? What could you do to change the way people think about you in this regard?

I also attend a lot of seminars and training courses and I read all the time. A friend once said that she would never have the energy to develop herself so much in addition to working. My answer to her was that I would not have the energy to get up in the morning if I did not do this. I’m not sure if she understood my answer. This is something that each of us must decide for ourselves: what gives us energy and what robs us of our energy? And do we choose to be energetic people who give other people energy – or do we drain our friends, family and acquaintances of their energy? Do we choose happiness? This is a choice each one of us makes every morning – or perhaps every second.

If we decide, like I have, that “whatever happens, my life will be absolutely wonderful”, what kind of effect will that decision have on the choices we make? It is these choices that largely determine what our life will be. I’m NOT saying that I am perfect. What I am saying is simply this: “I’m trying”. Every day, I am trying. Can you say the same? Would you like to be able to say the same? If you would, what would you do differently?

A friend also asked me recently if writing a blog was not very time-consuming. How do you find the energy to do it, she asked? Well, to me – and I am sure that this applies to almost every writer/artist – writing is like eating. We can go for a little while without doing it, but if we wait too long, we starve. And I hope that everyone has something like this in their lives. In one song, Jimi Hendrix sings that his girlfriend left him but “Oh well, at least I still have my guitar!” Do you have your “guitar”?

I have been writing a journal every since I was 7 years old. I don’t write every day, I just write when I feel like it. To me, writing is therapy. Writing a blog is somewhat different to writing a private journal. One must censor the writing a bit, for example. I don’t like to name names; I like to protect the privacy of the innocent (or the guilty, as the case may be! ;-)). But I also find that when writing for the general public, the writing may – if we are very, very lucky - reach a level of “common human experience” and may thereby actually touch someone’s life. I certainly feel this when I read other people’s blogs. Not all the time, of course, but sometimes. When you dig deep enough, we are in fact all the same. We reach a level of common humanity.

Lots o’ Love,
Pink Lady

P.S. A friend I hadn’t seen in a while was surprised to see me wearing pink. He said that he couldn’t have imagined that I would ever wear such a colour. I asked him what colour I used to wear. He said that I always used to wear black! What does this say about my mental state, I wonder? ;-)