'Tis Better to Have Loved and Lost...

Dearest Bloggers,

For a change, I will publish something that I myself have not written. This is from a book I read recently called Think and Grow Rich by Napoleon Hill - an absolutely brilliant book. The title is somewhat misleading, since it's not just about making money, but rather about leading a rich life - in every sense of the word. The book was originally published in 1937 and it has sold over 15 million copies. Here's what Hill writes about love. I sent this passage to a couple of friends who have recently separated from their boyfriends, and thought I'd share this with all of you. I think that it's absolutely beautiful.

Pink Lady


“If you believe yourself unfortunate because you have “loved and lost”, perish the thought. One who has loved truly can never lose entirely. Love is whimsical and temperamental. Its nature is ephemeral and transitory. It comes when it pleases and goes away without warning. Accept and enjoy it while it remains, but spend no time worrying about its departure. Worry will never bring it back.

Dismiss, also, the thought that love never comes but once. Love may come and go, times without number, but there are no two love experiences that affect you in just the same way. There may be, and there usually is, one love experience that leaves a deeper imprint on the heart than all the others, but all love experiences are beneficial, except to the person who becomes resentful and cynical when love makes its departure.

There should be no disappointment over love, and there would be none if people understood the difference between the emotions of love and sex. The major difference is that love is spiritual, while sex is biological. No experience that touches the human heart with a spiritual force can possibly be harmful, except through ignorance or jealousy.”

“Even the memories of love are sufficient to lift one to a higher plane of creative effort. The major force of love may spend itself and pass away, like a fire that has burned itself out, but it leaves behind indelible marks as evidence that it passed that way. Its departure often prepares the human heart for still a greater love”.

The Perfect Terrace

Hey There,

This is a restaurant I recently visited in Tampere (a city in Finland). It's called Telakka. The decor was somehow just perfect, the weather was perfect and jazz was playing! Mmmmmmm..... :-)

I took this photo with my boyfriend's cell phone - turned out pretty good.

Pink Lady

Biker Chick, Part 2

This is another photo from Pink Lady's modelling album (see previous post). So it's an old photo. The look says very much "biker chick", yet it was many, many years before I actually rode on the back of a motorcycle and I still don't know how to ride one myself. But I believe that we can achieve anything that we truly desire. I recently learned to drive and I'm way, way, way past the age of 18 (the legal driving age in this country). It wasn't easy to learn to drive a stick shift at my age, but I persevered, and I believe that I - and anyone for that matter - can accomplish anything that they truly want to achieve.

However, for me personally, the big problem is that, in the words of John C. Maxwell (in his book Today Matters), "You can have anything you want, but you cannot have everything you want. You have to choose." This is something that has always been extremely difficult for me. I have trouble prioritizing and letting go of less important things. I call myself a renaissance woman, but maybe it's just that I'm not focused enough.

We need to choose what we want out of life and then go for it. But how does one choose? Maxwell also writes: "Excellence comes from doing the right things right. You've got to let go of the rest. If you're not sure what the right things are, pretend you have only six months to live. The things you would do in that time are the right things." We've all heard this before, but somehow it doesn't help. If I only had six months to live, would I care about healthy eating? Would I manage my money? Would I exercize? Would I have children? Would I work? Would I study? Would I even read?!? At least in my case, the answer to all of those is NO. If I had 6 months to live, I would enjoy every second in a very hedonistic way, not caring at all about the long-term consequences. So does this really teach us how to live well?

So what would I do if I only had 6 months to live? Some of the answers might be too personal to publish here, but some of the things I would do are:


- spend time with the people most important to me (the interesting question being: who are those people? Who would I choose to spend time with?)
- sell pretty much everything I own (I'd keep some clothes, my cell phone, my laptop, my digital camera, my iPod, and some empty notebooks and pens)
- travel to places I've always wanted to visit (perhaps even around the world)
- write a book: probably about my life and what I've learnt about life. Perhaps I would also include photos from my travels.
- eat well (without any regard for health considerations, only the taste of the food would matter)
- drink the most expensive wines and champagnes I could afford
- cherish and value every second of my life
- spend every single cent of my money so that I would have nothing left over

So what does this teach me? Well, for one thing, I've certainly listed the physical objects that are most important for me in life: the things I use to document my life, i.e. writing equipment and photography equipment. And my iPod for listening to music. Nothing else matters. (I could move to the Carribean and live on the beach - except that I would need electricity. I'm a techie hippie!) So here we have my calling and mission in life: writing and photography! Both are things that I've not formally studied and I do neither for a living currently (although I have done a lot of writing and editing for a living in the past, but technical writing and technical editing - not exactly my calling in life). The reason I would write if I had six months to live is that I'd like to inspire people and make them understand the value of life and to encourage them to follow their dreams - NOW!

And the things that I most enjoy in life: people, travel, food and drink. Perhaps I should become a travel writer? :-)

What would you do if you only had six months to live? Are you currently doing those things? When will you do them?

Love always,

Pink Lady

Biker Chick, Part 1

Now Pink Lady does not actually ride a motor bike. But she loves to sit on the back of one! And has a dream of learning to ride herself one day. This is Pink Lady's boyfriend's bike - isn't she just gorgeous!!

Would I have myself as a member?

Dearest Bloggers,

A couple of people - namely my boyfriend and my Mom - have said that they don't like the photo I've chosen for this blog. They said that I look like I'm grimacing and not smiling. Interesting, since I really like that photo of myself - and I almost never like photos of myself!

It's interesting that different people "see" you in different ways. This does not only apply to what photos they like, it goes deeper than that. I think that there was a scene in the movie The Accidental Tourist ( based on the book with the same name by Anne Tyler), where Geena Davis' character says something along the lines of wanting to be with someone who sees you as the kind of person you want to be. Just this one line makes me want to read Ms. Tyler's book; I haven't yet read it. I've read some of her other books and I truly loved them; she's a brilliant writer and observer of human nature.

Is it really so that we are different people depending on who we are with? If it is, the interesting question is: who do you want to spend time with? And an even more interesting questions is: am I the kind of person that I would like to spend time with??!!!??

Anyway, so here is an alternative photo of Pink Lady, for those who don't like the other one. This is an older photo. I think I was 20 or 21 when this was taken. You can probably tell that this is from a professional photo shoot. I had my make-up done by a pro for over an hour and a professional photographer burnt up roll after roll of film shooting me for several hours. So, realistically, this is probably as good as I'll ever look! ;-) This photo was for my modelling album. I trained to be a runway model, but never actually did it for a living, apart from one contest and a couple of odd jobs. But it did wonders for my self-confidence - and I learnt to walk in heels! :-)

I have a reason right now to not be feeling very modest (as if I ever am...), but to rather be quite "taken" with myself: my boyfriend discovered a lump in my breast last week, and that just gives the whole of life a new meaning. I have a lump in my breast - what's your excuse? ;-)

I've sometimes heard people say that the possibility of death gives life a lot of clarity; it allows you to see what is truly important and what isn't. So far, I just feel more confused than ever. I feel like one of those toys that you shake to make it snow. Somebody shook me, and all of my thoughts, ideas, beliefs and values just went flying; I have no clarity whatsoever. No fear either, however. Although I'm not sure how much reason for fear I actually have. The doctor said that it's not very likely that the lump is malignant, but of course they can't be completely sure. I'm having a mammogram (i.e. an x-ray of my breasts) on Friday, i.e. in 3 days. I guess then I'll know a bit more. Perhaps those mental snowflakes will eventually land and settle somewhere and perhaps they'll land in different places than they were before. I am looking forward to this. Some guru has said that Confusion is the highest state of mind. It means that you are going towards something new.

All I can say at this point is: girls, check your breasts and do it religiously every single month of your lives!!!!!! One woman in 10 gets breast cancer (ooops, the C-word!) at some point in their lives. This website has a multimedia demo of how to do a breast self exam.

Be cool y'all!

Pink Lady